Marriage and Women – (the lighter side of life)

I am not a gender insensitive person… In the normal course I would hesitate putting up any post that betrayed gender bias. Although the snippets below are directed on women and marriage, I have chose to put them up in the post because (i) these are classified under the category of ‘humour’ and (ii) many of these statements are from very renowned persons (iii) No offense meant to any person, women in particular–married/unmarried …

Some of you may have read these in different places, so it might seem like a repetition, nevertheless, this is a good collection, to bring a smile on your face ---

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have;

the older she gets...

the more interested he is in her.

-Agatha Christie

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed.

It is not fair that some men

should be happier than others.

-Oscar Wilde

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Don't marry for money;

you can borrow it cheaper.

-Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism.

I was married for two years.

-Sam Kinison

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Bachelors know more about women than married men;

if they didn't, they'd be married too.

-H. L. Mencken

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Men have a better time than women;

for one thing, they marry later,

for another thing, they die earlier.

-H. L. Mencken

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"A man without a woman is like

a fish without a bicycle."

-U2

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WIFE (Worries Invited For Ever)

Every man should get married some time;

after all, happiness is not

the only thing in life!!

-Anonymous

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A psychiatrist is a person who will give

you expensive answers that

your wife will give you for free.

-Anonymous

Here are more, whose authors are not known, but are fretty good for some fun ….

Marriage is a three ring circus:

-engagement ring

-wedding ring

-suffering

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When a newly married couple smiles,

everyone knows why ?

When a ten-year married couple smiles,

everyone wonders why ??

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Love is blind but

marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

you can be sure one thing:

either the car is new or the wife.

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I take my wife everywhere, but

she keeps finding her way back

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I asked my wife,

"Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

She said,

"Somewhere I have never been!"

I told her,

"How about the kitchen?"

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We always hold hands.

If I let go, she shops.

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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.

That was only for the estimate.

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days...

Then the mud fell off.

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,

"Am I too late for the garbage?"

Following her down the street I yelled,

"No, jump in!"

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BaddTeddy recently explained to me why he refuses

to ever get Married.

He says "the wedding rings look too much

like minature handcuffs....."

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If your dog is barking at the back door

and your wife is yelling at

the front door, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course...

at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his

dearly departed mother and started back

toward his car when his attention was

diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound

intensity and kept repeating,

"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said,

"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief,

but this demonstration of pain is more than I've

ever seen before.

For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,

"My wife's first husband."

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A couple came upon a wishing well.

The husband leaned over, made a wish

and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish, too.

But she leaned over too much, fell into the well,

and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled

"It really works!"

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NOTE: These are Excerpts from the Collection of Crystellite